The Purge

I am convinced that balance in this life comes from the good and bad people in your life. As much as you try to be a "good" person, do the right thing, or  surround yourself with good people you soon realize that you are not immune from the bull shit. Seems like these people only exist to undermine, tear down, destroy, and just be a thorn in your ass every chance they can. Your life and tearing it down becomes the breath of fresh air they need to make it through the day.

We all know these people. They have been in your life from the begging of time. They exist in your circle of friends or you consider them a friend They are camouflaged amongst all the good and bad times that you may have had in your life. They come in and out taking different forms and types of relationships. 

They feed off of your existence and use you as a shelf, ladder, or stool at times without you even knowing it. They are you girlfriends, boyfriends, homeboys, homegirls, buddies, BFF, brothers, sisters, moms, dads, etc. These people are like slugs who just wait around for the next "thing" to happen and they have life again. Can you avoid them? Can you live with or without them? Is this God's way of reminding you that everything he created was good even these people? I wish I had the answer because at times I find myself getting caught up in whose for me and whose against me and pushing those away who should matter and paying more attention to those who could careless. 

I tend to think of these people as fishermen. They have plenty bait and time on their hands. They throw the bait in the water and wait. They either have nothing going on for themselves or they are patience enough to hang around until you take the bait. Once that happens they snatch the fish out of the water and decide if they are going to throw the fish back in or take it home and eat it. 

I think we all have been hooked maybe at least once in our lives. Whether we have been eaten or thrown back is the question. Maybe it is for me not to understand or maybe I'm thinking to much. In the end I believe that you truly only know someone for a second and even then you still don't know them. I know one thing... I'm purging their ass!

You have to be on your P's andQ's especially when it comes to the people you add to your circle. Purge the people and  things that don't belong. Hold fast and recognize those people who are in your corner to be in your corner and not to use your corner (just don't forget the one second rule). As hard as it may be you have to deal with the chaos, negativity, and drama others may bring and appreciate going through the storm that people sometimes take you through . Avoiding these people may be impossible but you can learn a lesson from them and never have to repeat that class again. So lock all your doors and windows. Cut on your security system and get your guns, knives, and bats ready. They are coming and that may be a good thing.  #DatIshKray

Get Out Of The Way

Have you ever been stuck in traffic? I mean it is one of the worst things in the world. Trying to get some where and nobody seems to have the same motivation or rush attitude that you have. You start looking at the person in the other car and start driving for them or yelling at them under your breath (gotta be careful these days). You even think about the excuse you are going to use when you arrive to your destination late. Seems like you find everything wrong about being stuck in traffic.  MAN... one of the worst feelings ever.

These days it seems like being in traffic isn't so bad after all. Seems like the more traffic you are in the better. As we live, laugh, learn, and love it seems like what we want and desire seems to increase for different reasons that are not in our control. Family, friends, relationships, advice, people, opinions, seems like everything becomes traffic. We start to let these and other things become traffic in our lives and we get stuck. Stuck in the same place, moving one step at a time, and even stopping and being idle for no reason at all. If we keep looking at others in traffic or those who want to be in traffic how will we ever see the next exit or the detour sign? While in traffic we may realize that being in traffic and being patience could be God's way of keeping you out of arms way. I guess in the end your never stuck in traffic...you are traffic.

Lately I've been in traffic but for the good reason. In a funny way I enjoy being in traffic. It gives me time to realize the importance of leaving on time or giving myself some extra time to get to whereI'm going. It is a peace that is irreplaceable amongst all the other things and people who may be rushing through all the traffic. Next to having an orgasam seeing the break in traffic and a clear path is the best feeling in the world and that will make you slap somebody. #DatIshKray

Window Seat

Have you ever  paid attention to what is outside of the window? Doesn't matter if it was long drive, a plane ride, sitting at home or train ride the view out of the window is something else. You can see so much and miss so much at the same time it can be refreshing. What if we looked at our lives the same way we look out the window view from a window?

We are all so blessed to be given a life. We go on and try to live it as best we know how. From various faiths & beliefs we hold on to these things to try to bring us some clarity to our so called life. We also live through other people and their experiences which could be good or bad. We take advice from everybody and everyone who seems to have the answer or right way to live when in fact they are looking for the same thing we are. We seem to always be on this constant quest for inspiration or something to move us in one way or the other. We often need a push of some kind to help us make it through. As we go through the ups and downs of life we sometimes forget to take a moment and look outside of the window.

Looking out of the window you can see so much. You can see how great life is as well as how fast things can change. You can also see how things change and don't remain the same. While looking out the window you can see your life flash before your eyes. You can see the start of something great or the end of something beautiful. You can see something different every time or you will end up seeing the same thing every time. Regardless of what you see that window is a glimpse of a moment that may not come again. It is a breath of fresh air that moves the trees, or a mother and daughter walking their dog. It is a father washing the car, an older couple taking a walk holding hands, a funeral, a birthday, a hug, a kiss, a laugh or a cry. Whatever that moment is that you see cherish it. It is a gift that life has given you that won't be given again. It is your moment to see life through your eyes.

I guess the beauty of the window is that you can see out. You can see different things depending on where you are going. If you look closely you can even see your reflection and many times that is more important than looking out.  Enjoy what you see and what you don't see. Enjoy the fact that you can see out of the window and enjoy that what you see is and was just for you. See life through your eyes, look out the window, and enjoy the view.

Round Of Applause

Do you ever wonder who is going to hold your hand? Do you ever question the reason why someone is holding your hand? Do you wonder why they let your hand go so easy? Do you really know why someone holds your hand so tight? Do you ever worry about what someone would say if you reach out to hold their hand? Do you think someone would take the gesture the wrong way?

Is it just something else to do like getting a tattoo? Is it a small life changing event? Is holding someone's hand a contract or commitment or is it just you keeping a hand warm? Is holding a hand a ritual of some sort that changes from generation to generation? Is it the passion between two people displayed through a small gesture? How many times have you held a hand and knew it didn't want to be held? How many hands have you let go and wish you hadn't?  Do you really know what it means to hold someone's hand? Do you even care?

You can go through so much in life and never have no one to walk with. The trials and tribulations of life plus the want to just "feel' sometimes comes with a hefty price. You may go through life without ever holding a hand or you may hold a bunch of hands and still yearn for the warmth of holding a hand, walking through life, and never letting go. Amazing how something so small can mean so much.

The Message 2013

A new year has started and we all  here. Some people we know and loved made it to see 2013 and others have fallen off each of our own personal wagons. As we start to make resolutions, promises we don't keep, and other things we all do at the start of a new year and as I tried to think of something to write nothing came to mind.

I've read other blogs, articles, books, and even post and everyone has an answer or suggestion for what to do this year. Everything from how to save money, love, life, and relationships. Seems like at the start of a new year we all want to start "something new" and make drastic improvements in our lives.

We all have these profounds quotes and words that are shred via e-mail and social networks. We have great ideas and plans that we start the 1st of the year. We even look at our friend and associates and see who we should keep around (well at least for this year until the next year comes around). I'm just as guilty as the next person. Every year at the end of an old one and start of a new one I say I'm going to do this and that or this person isn't really my friend, I take a look at my bank account, my personal relationships with people, with God, I mean the list goes on and on.

I have come to realize that  you have to be who you are. You have to make the changes in your life and you shouldn't have to wait on a new year to make those changes. People, places, relationships, money, goals, dreams, whatever it is you have to get off ya ass and GO! You have to stop listening to people and listen to yourself. No blog (not even mine), post, book, or article, can help with fixing your life. The only person who can do that is you. You have to be pro-active and put forth some effort in changing your life.

It's been a long time coming but I know a change gone come and I promise you that is the last time I'm going to say that. I'm just going to go... not for you or them but for me. Be who you are and do what you want because in the end they only put one person in the casket.

I Use To Love H.E.R.

Before I knew who she was I use to love H.E.R.

I thought that because everyone had one or was talking about one I should have H.E.R.

I thought that letting her hold my CD player would keep H.E.R.

All it did was make the other guy like H.E.R. more when she let him take mine home.

I loved H.E.R. again when she was something I wasn't use to. My same age but some older experiences made H.E.R. very special to me in a short period of time. I tried to make H.E.R. day by trying to compete with all the other older guys she had been with.

 I tried to keep H.E.R. attention by walking her to class and even riding my bike to H.E.R. house just to sit on the porch. I told H.E.R. that I loved H.E.R. and then we started to make out in H.E.R. car. 

A couple of weeks later while riding my bike to H.E.R. house I saw her sitting in the car with the other older more experienced guy.  Guess that was H.E.R. way of saying my bike wasn't big enough for H.E.R.

Around the same time that ended I saw H.E.R. She was the the total opposite of what I've had been with before. A young, fresh, and new H.E.R. that nobody knew. I saw H.E.R. and she saw me. This time I took my time because I wanted H.E.R. to see who I really was and not what she had heard. 

This was it (I thought). 

Until I saw H.E.R. 

Then I saw H.E.R, H.E.R, H.E.R. and H.E.R and...

The next time I saw H.E.R a lot had change. I knew a little bit more of what I wanted H.E.R. to be. I had it all mapped out. I even went to one of those cheesy spots in the mall and laid away a ring. It was all good until I met H.E.R. 

We worked at the same place and it was great. Seemed like everyone knew H.E.R and I were an item. We were the talk of the town until I saw H.E.R. 

I was a mess. 

I had H.E.R. and wanted H.E.R. Why couldn't I have both? 

Why couldn't I have been honest and loyal to H.E.R. 

Don't know if it was because H.E.R. and I had a physical connection that was unparalleled or the fact the H.E.R and I stopped having sex in hopes of H.E.R. and I getting married. Me, H.E.R, and H.E.R. were all on different pages.

Even my mother told me to leave H.E.R. alone and get back with H.E.R. I should have listened but...

Then I met H.E.R.

I never knew anyone like H.E.R. 

I thought I had met Eve. She took all that I had in me out and showed me how good I was and how good I could be.

Confident, beautiful, strong, outspoken, passionate, driven, beautiful smile, and on H.E.R. worst day she could make the devil smile. H.E.R. and I could do nothing and it would mean the world to us both. H.E.R. entire being encompassed my every breath. We were without trying. 

Even my H.E.R. and H.E.R. husband couldn't stop what H.E.R. and I had. We were truly one. Unfortunately H.E.R. and I had to end.

Now I'm here still praying, living, and looking for H.E.R. 

I've ran into H.E.R. from time to time only to lose H.E.R. again. It probably was for the best. 

Maybe it was Karma reminding me of H.E.R. and how I treated H.E.R. back then. 

Maybe it was H.E.R. way a letting me know that I still have somethings to work on. 

Maybe it was H.E.R. and I just wasn't ready.

I think about H.E.R. everyday and moment God gives me on this earth. 

I want to meet H.E.R.

I want to miss H.E.R.

I want to surprise H.E.R.

I want to hear H.E.R.

I want to listen to H.E.R.

I truly want to be ready for H.E.R.

I truly want to be with H.E.R.

I want to love H.E.R. and be in love with H.E.R.

As soon as I know who she is.

And I Wonder...

Instructions: Ask yourself these questions. There is no right or wrong answer only truth.

1. Are you holding on to an old thing that is preventing you from obtaining something new?

2. Are you hopes and dreams of the future slowed down by the hopes of something in your past?

3. Can you truly really let someone or something go?

4. Ever feel like you are not where God wants you to be yet?

5. Do you question yourself and God?

6. Ever feel like some people just waste your time?

7. When was the last time you checked your friends?

8. Are the relationships that you have with people adding or subtracting from your life?

9. Was your last relationship worth it?

10. If you could go back and ______________________ would you?

11. Have you ever felt like you were just "a thing" or "something to do" for or to someone?

12. Have you ever really lived with no regrets?

13. As much as things change do you find yourself back doing the same thing over and over again?

14. Are you alive in a dead place?

15. Could you have done without meeting some people in your life?

16. If life was easy could you enjoy life?

17. If failure is not an option why do we have to be reminded?

18. When was the last time you were scared?

19. When was the last time you jumped?

20.  What if you knew the next 10 years of your life?

21. Are your dreams a snapshot of the reality you want or a crazy fantasy that you need?

22. Can you have everything and nothing at all.

23. Have you ever just let go and tried not to live?

24. Does everything always have to workout?

25. Why___________________________________________?

Don't know where these questions came from but sometimes when you talk to your "other self" you wonder. The questions always seem to change as well as the answers but I guess that is life. It always seems to be something. Even at your funeral when it is all said and done it starts over again. The "it" being trying to find the answer to the question as well as starting your other life. I mean how great would it be to ask yourself a question and truly know that the answer is... THE ANSWER! Only to find out that after the answer there probably is another question.

Maybe I over think everything! Maybe I should take my own advice (really how many of us do that). How often do you ask yourself questions? Do you ever wonder or question the stuff that for years you were told not too? Are you just following a plan or map given to you from someone else that was given to them from someone else that got it from... you know what I'm saying. Is it wrong for wanting to know the answers or is it designed for us to question and keep searching? I don't know and guess what... neither do you. If we are lucky enough we are given a gift the next day to try to find the answers or ask more questions and for that we should  dance!

#DatIshKray